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when miracles happened after by ~envygrrl:iconenvygrrl:



Enjambed, sangrias and tattoos of butterflies
Jigsawed between organs.
Open the mouth, tonsils stretching far below
The ridges of the waves in a mass ceremony
Of season.
He tells me, You're the lucky one
And I want to find freedom without knowing why.

Ambivalence is too familiar;
Shanty towns and metal houses poison neurons
And I'm back to the beginning, saving lives, saving lies
For later when they mean something more than pillow talk.

I am pen and paper and you are a multi-minded Renaissance man,
There isn't much I wouldn't do for you yet I stand at the streetcorner,
Generic walking symbol screaming in my face.
I would part the ocean like Moses,
I would eat the entire apple myself, I would run away as Lilith did to save herself,
To save you,

But you need to find the part of you I own by mistake.

White walls and liquor-tainted, idealistic dreams won't bring you rest and rain,
You are an endless heartbreak, deflated, white in pure form;

My arsenic dress is prepared for the red,

And you are the thing in which I swallow. down. whole.
©2003-2009 ~envygrrl
:iconenvygrrl:

Author's Comments

Full title: when miracles happened after you ate god.

Just something gold to play with.

Daily Deviation

Given 2003-12-22

when miracles happened after by ~envygrrl Reading when miracles happened after you ate god by :devenvygrrl: is like dunking your head in holy water. Truly you will be emersed in this, finding yourself in another place and you may like it. Guest picker- :devwernstrum: (Featured by `keen)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwernstrum:
this is a really good poem. Its sad that no one has come across it yet. It is bilical tho lavishly lyrical

--
Waste not want not
-- The Mask
:icontheledtool:
There's an intriguing aspect, but as it is, I don't think it'd be possible for anyone to see what your own interpretation of the work is. It basically is so wide that one could easily project their own narrative, but never come to what you were saying. Like a general paradox, it's interesting and potentially helpful in how it gets one to think, but a personal expression seems lacking in inconsistency.
:iconkeen:
this is great work... my only comment is to consider removing "... down. whole." those last two words are not needed to end the piece with a fine bit of tension. :thumbsup:

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:iconunforgiven1:
wow really good! I'm glad it was put up as the daily deviation. there are hardly ever any poetry or prose pieces put up there. it's mostly just art. anyways +fave.

--
"Why do you run away?"
"Because I think it's fun."

Shima Uta- download it, listen to it, get hooked. It's awesome.
:iconcrapmighty:
i agree, there's little poetry in the daily deviation section!

i'm still processing exectly what you're trying to say in the poetry... when i first read it, i don't "straight away" understand it, however, it's more like the words gave me snaps of mental picture running thru my mind!

i like to quote a fav line
"There isn't much I wouldn't do for you yet I stand at the streetcorner,
Generic walking symbol screaming in my face."
personally i think this is a good pick up in the poem
:iconnotrust:
I love this...I especially love the imagery you used..you're a very talented writer:blackrose:

--
"There is something in each of us that wants us to be Unhappy. It creates in our imaginations problems that don't yet exist- quite often causing them to come true."
~Benjamin Hoff The Te of Piglet
:iconstarbyrstfoxvnv:
My god, this is a genius poem. It is seriously rare to find any such material that even comes close to its magnitude. I say that this is one of the best poems I have even seen for months. Very good job +fav.

--
When the fox hears the rabbit cry he comes running, but not to help.
:iconvetel:
Almost didactic I just can't put the teaching into words, very thought provoking

--
Chill out, life's good
:iconperfectdark4242:
I particularly like the line:
"And I'm back to the beginning, saving lives, saving lies"
I don't know why, it just stood out to me. :)

I also like the many references to different things. You don't see that much on Deviantart. A truly superb poem. Definitely a favourite :+fav:.

--
Don't click here...

Details

October 9, 2003
1.3 KB

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